Welcome to my home.

Please, come in and close the door.

294,598 notes

moshita:

Anecdotes by medical practitioners 

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.

Reddit thread 

(via vidadeunfriki)

167,558 notes

I don’t care that you got into drugs for three months straight, or how much sleep you lost in that period. I don’t care that you went home and fucked that person and woke up at 6am hating everything about yourself, or that you smoked so much you sounded as though your lungs were giving out.

You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.

You’re just human, and being human means you need to survive and you do so whichever way you deem fit, fuck everyone else.

"you’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness" 

WOW

(via i-want-spankings)

(Source: stayygone, via veggieburgers)

55,130 notes

situpsandfruitcups:

Benefits of big hips:

Laundry basket rest
Yoga pants
Tiny human rest
Full size human rest
Hip checking those who challenge you
Ability to swing them wider than a cadillac
Model walk is 10x more dramatic
Taking up more space
Looking like a fertility goddess

(via sun-kissedandskinny)

850,791 notes

assvvipe:

velvvetreceipts:

thekatediary:

tiny little turn ons:

   - people leaning against walls with one shoulder while they talk

   - catching somebody turning away smiling at a joke you made

   - people who linger on a hug for just a second after you let go

   - somebody glancing at your lips while you’re talking

jesus CHRIST

Jesus is not a turn-on he is the way the truth and the light go 2 church and reflect on your nasty ass sins

(via runningtobefree)